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Fri, Jul. 2nd, 2004, 04:16 pm

Inevitably, one of the procrastination brothers will send in his file at exactly 4:29, just when I'm about to go running out of here. Fucker (provisionally).

Hmmm, my neighbor over the wall is making toast. Interesting.

Fri, Jul. 2nd, 2004, 03:59 pm
whining

My boss wanted to take a five day weekend, so I agreed to work yesterday and today. Yesterday was fine, if a little boring, but today... To summarize, I've been sitting in my fake cubicle for an hour and fifty minutes now, waiting for two people, apparently both procrastinators, to send me something to do. Meanwhile, everyone else who works on the fourth floor (4 = number of doom in Asia, according to my sources: this is starting to seem relevant) has left; most of them said "good night" to each other, at three o'clock, which I thought was bizarre then, but now it's beginning to feel very, very late.

On the plus side, this means not listening to people discussing productivity efficiency being proactive etc., and not hearing the girl at the desk free-styling for TEN WHOLE MINUTES on the word "paycheck," or whistling the same tuneless phrase over and over again, as is her wont.

However, this place is creepy when it's empty. Someone I've never seen before sat down on the other side of the fake cubicle wall and is typing and clearing her throat. Two years ago, I think, someone was stabbed in the early evening on this floor with a pair of scissors (Boo Radley!).

Okay, at four thirty, I leave if nothing has come in. This will only screw over thirteen biology students, and only temporarily. I'm sure they can cope with it.

Wed, Jun. 2nd, 2004, 02:42 am
"All my life I have been a poor go-to-sleeper"

I really wasn't amused to open "Speak, Memory" to that sentence when I was trying to go to bed an hour ago. The rest of the paragraph is highly annoying to read when you're having insomnia (sleeping is a "debasing" "mental torture"? oh no, Nabokov, oh no). So I've been sitting here stupidly wondering why snoring hasn't been eliminated through evolution. But my handle on both evolutionary stuff and the mechanics and causes, etc., of snoring is pretty shaky--there's probably some good reason this isn't even a logical question. Then I stared at the fish we're temporarily "taking care of" for someone. It's very pretty, but I'm positive it's going to die before it leaves. It doesn't help that until it sees motion within about two feet of its bowl it just likes to hold absolutely still with its tail kind of deflated and dragging on the bottom.. Then you get close and it thinks it's going to get some of its "color enhancing" food and goes insane. I've never had a fish, so this is all morbidly interesting to me--but it's going to die, I know it. None of us even know its name. After a while, staring at the fish got too depressing, and LiveJournal seemed like a not-bad idea...

In other news, today I received not one but four pieces of mail from environmental groups requesting that I buy their "free" binoculars or "free" day pass to California state parks (come on, people, I don't even have a job right now). Jesus, you give ten dollars once for a screaming baby bird umbrella...

Sat, Jan. 31st, 2004, 12:39 pm
For the record...

I did finally receive my green and white screaming baby bird umbrella. And now I feel very safe when I use it at night, as it's rather hard not to see; this is especially good when you're prone to wearing a lot of black. And the Nature Conservancy also sent a small but nice assortment of greeting cards. Yaaaay.

I'd move on to maligning grad school right away, but even through the window condensation, it looks like a very nice day. I'd go so far as to say a hella-nice day. (When in Rome, mock what the Romans do.) Plus I'm still in my bathrobe, and my side of the room is disgracefully messy, and if I don't get off my ass soon, I'm going to hit Berkeley Bowl at the hellish Saturday peak hour. Hundreds of vegetable-crazed people who can't steer their shopping carts worth shit = more than I can handle. But the manifesto is on the way.

Wed, Oct. 29th, 2003, 03:16 pm
Why is there no mood icon for "avaricious"?

This is bound to be instant bad karma, but here goes: after three years of getting free mailing labels from the Nature Conservancy, I finally caved in a moment of weakness and sent them the damned $10 they want so much, thinking, "at least I'll get a free umbrella out of this."

Today, at least a full month after I did my part of things, the following arrives in the mail:

Dear New Nature Conservancy Member,
I am delighted to welcome you...thoughtful gift...preserve Earth's Last Great Places...such a wonderful gift...


[NO MENTION OF UMBRELLA]

...You will soon receive your first issue of our quarterly magazine...

[UMBRELLA???]

...P.P.S. This record will serve as the record of the receipt of your gift...note that you have received no goods or services in return for your contribution...

So very, very confused.

Sun, Oct. 26th, 2003, 12:21 pm

...and only getting worse.

Sun, Oct. 26th, 2003, 12:17 pm
Dear god, this is hideous

HIDEOUS!